Life is in the little things

Going, Going and Soon Gone...

2011-12-31T00:36:00.000-08:00

It is the 31st December today, no less. And tomorrow will be not just another day but a new year itself. How on earth am I expected to take those renewal vows? Or should I at all go down that route? After all, all this is self-imposed. But let me dwell on yesterday. It was marked by a good visit to a friend who has finished his fourth chemotherapy and is doing well. He has just started walking in the Joggers' Park before the hordes arrive. To think of it, a while ago, this seemed improbable in that moment. I am glad the family has maintained strict rules of health and hygiene. Visitors with colds and infectious bugs are not allowed and the ritual of disinfecting your hands before coming in has just been dispensed with.
The fresh coconut water and almonds made for a healthy repast!
Then onto "Christmas lunch" although not so strictly speaking but I am happy to call it so because it is part of the holiday season festivity. The lunch went well, wonderfully relaxed -Christmas pudding along with some delicious coffee from a gourmet hamper made my day. I did 2 cups in one afternoon justifying that the new year will see me totally in control of my senses.Thus love is blind for a real good reason this season-forgive the pun, just had to do it, senselessly; back home through a horrible bottleneck and on to see "Sherlock Holmes" in the cinema theater. Stylish, bizarre and highly atmospheric. Today I go to see "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy". Le Carre's writing is impressive and I am excited about going to the movies once more. No caramelized popcorn, no samosa, no Costa Coffee for me there. Already taking hold of my senses-but only as I write. There is yoga this evening. Evening meal will be a bed of salad laid on crisp multi grain toast and vegetable-fruit juice. Not saying I will not end my meal with a glass of Bailey's as Amrita will phone from America, her time.
Incidentally, the hot pink bougainvillea is in bloom and as for the sparrows, my morning alarm, they have adjusted to the chill in the air by chirping half an hour later than their usual 7 am wake up call. I particularly relish the thought of not being woken up by digital sounds. They annoy me. But I am grateful to digital technology because I know I can't carry sparrows in my pocket when I travel. So, this is my news for today, before soon, it will be gone and tomorrow's news will take over and move us into another day, another year, 2012.

Happy Holiday Season

2011-12-28T05:54:00.000-08:00

What a lovely Christmas lunch at PVs home in Chembur. The area has turned terribly upmarket with several spas and Costa Coffee-all down the road. A good coffee shop does it for me. PVs Irish friend and 3 Nigerian women, splendidly attired, all Trade Unionists from the town of Jos and the Vieira family made delightful company. The chicken was delicious and the Christmas pudding set aflame kept the blue flame going for a while-as you can see it had soaked the alcohol thoroughly. That is the spirit of Christmas.
When I returned home, I was shocked to hear that a church in Jos had been attacked by a group of Muslim fundamentalists. Till I met the Nigerian women, I had never heard of Jos, outside Abuja. But now it came alive as a place where people lived, earned their livelihood, went to church and participated in a productive , peaceful community life. And, suddenly that fabric was stripped by the attack on the church goers. One policeman lost his life on Christmas Day. I am so sorry for his family. I hope 2012 will be a year of peace. I hope it will be a year of reconciliation, reconciliation of differences for the sake of understanding the value that lies in holding diverse view points, then there really will be hope. And like the Christmas cake with its blue flame , I believe we can keep on hoping even for a little while or longer if you wish, that the year ahead will be more alive, vibrant and meaningfully different than the year gone by. So, here's to you and to me, a great 2012. And join me at Costa Coffee somewhere!

An Infrequent Writer, a Hardly Writer

2011-04-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

I stopped writing as if what started me writing has come to an end. What a short sighted view of the world and what a limited take on the world at large. I see myself as one for closures, things if begun must be brought to an end. I need to revise this thinking of just "for my own good". I need the moral imperative to kick start my day. Wake up, there are people out there living some unimaginable lives, there is this business of sharing experiences, words, letters in order to remain connected. At the same time, I liked PVs withdrawal from Facebook for a while for sure to detox. The information at times, more often than not, distracts, diverts and takes us to silly little diversions which we feel were a waste of time-but always on hindsight. I, too, now don't care for these diversions as they do not add value to me. I want to be more of a person not less. The excess indulgence in information renders us less day by day.

Worries

2010-03-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps that revival post came at just the right moment.

It is that time of year again, where it draws closer to when I have to do my annual check up test. And as usual, I'm trying to pack too much in, trying to live as much as possible, because despite my best efforts to be positive, I'm wondering when someone will tell me that I can't.

Today I am exhausted. There are essay deadlines, internship work, professional work, travel plans, financial concerns, a confusing personal life and a never-ending social life. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and find it hard to believe that the person looking back at me is the same person with such a different face two years ago. Asha is right. I have hair now, and my concerns are about how I should wear it or whether I should cut it. How easily I have failed in my resolve to simply be grateful for the fact that it grew back!

So now I take another deep breath; and hope that morning will bring a day that is calmer, filled with less worry and more peace.

Out of the woodwork

2010-03-19T00:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't forgotten this blog, why we started it, how it got going...and how I stopped writing. This is 2010 and we have no entry for this year, so I thought I should write. Yes, yes, all those "shoulds", they do come in handy at such times. I am splendid at cocooning myself, so people like me need those "shoulds".

PV now has hair: she has to think about it now. Shall I go short or long or go for the fringe? So that's the other story. PV is now studying international relations in God's Own Country, U.K., a melting pot of cultures that refuse to cook together, so you couldn't be in a better place to see, think and get to know other worlds.

I will meet u p with PV this December in Goa where there is a special family event. I am already looking forward to this.

As I write, I do want to say that one suffering ends and some where else another kind of suffering begins. Our mother passed away last month. PV's mom is in a wheel chair as her tendons and ligaments heal. Being part of all this is what life is all about. Call them little things if you feel like it.

Story Telling

2009-09-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

After disappearing from the blog for ever, I decided to reappear. I guess I don't quite like to close the chapter as I do believe in stories that go on. I came across this entry in a blog that I'd like to share with you.

FROM DJ:
Ralph, one of my favorite quotes is by the poet Muriel Rukeyser: “The universe is made up of stories, not of atoms.” We have to tell the stories in which we become characters, willing or unwilling as we may be. And if you feel you can’t talk to someone, talk to yourself in a journal. I only find out what I’m truly thinking once I open my notebook and start scribbling. Sometimes, it’s not the cancers that kill, but the silences.

All the Best, Dana

— Ralph

Who Knew?

2009-01-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

When you're going through a life altering experience, it is quite easy to become completely engulfed in your own suffering and misery, knowing for a fact that things could not be worse for anyone else. You become enveloped in a little bubble which tends to block other people out completely.

And I was pretty much the same during most of 2008. But in November of last year, a close friend's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. For the first time, I saw what it was like for the primary care-giver to deal with the 'cancer experience'. And it shocked me.

I had never really given much thought to what my mother (who was my primary care-giver) went through during my cancer experience. We talked about it only recently, and I found out that she had to face the fact that I may die, a truly scary thought for any parent. Couple that with the constant worry that I may catch a cold or a cough which could be life threatening given my low immunity levels, concern about my diet and that I was taking all the right medications, managing visitors, doctor's appointments, hospital bills, insurance details.... and of course, dealing with the inescapable grief - how could this happen to US???

When you hear of someone sick with a life threatening illness, you are overcome with pity and sympathy for the person who is suffering. But you don't always need to be sick to be the one that is suffering and in pain, or the one who is more in need of empathy and support.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T18:06:00.000-08:00

A very happy 2009 to each of you. It has been a year of so many ups and downs. The human spirit seems to triumph somehow. So I wish you the very best of your spirit but make sure you have a designated driver to take you home safely as you party. I write from America and send all my love.I am going to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" in a little while. And then I shall keep warm at home and bring in the New Year assisted by television!

Nirvana-just may be!

2008-12-20T16:31:00.000-08:00

So here I am in the North West of America, far away from any Nirvana, as people shop for Christmas presents-in the final journey, the presents mostly end up in the junk yard. No Nirvana out here.

I am breaking away from all routine to write in. I have attended the Vippasana twice-the third one in Cutch was cut short as my friend's husband had a stroke in Austria. I felt more ready for my 3rd Vippasana and intend returning to it.

That PV chose to go into a 10 day long self relflecting mode in a very puritanical setting moved me into reappearing on the blog.

Some how in our race against time, we seem to have forgotten that a whole universe exists within us.

A merry Christmas to all of you. May I assume that post Vippasana PV will be partying ?

I end with every good wish and cheer.

Nirvana...not.

2008-12-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

Every single one of the 250 women attending the Vipassana course along with me had a variety different reasons for being there. Some were repeating the experience for the 13th time, some for the 2nd or 3rd, and these were the women that had obviously benefited from it in the past . Or just suckers for punishment.
But a lot of the women were newbies like me. They were looking for 'the ultimate truth', healing of past hurt and misery, grieving a loss or just looking for some good old peace and quiet.

I am still not entirely sure why I went. But whatever I went looking for - I did not find it. Except for the peace and quiet of course, which I enjoyed immensely! In fact, I think more people should take to shutting up for long periods of time. The world would be a far happier place.
Instead, what I felt was like a ton of weight was lifted off me (in actuality, I only lost a few pounds). I was grinning and happy for no apparent reason. And truth be told, I have still not understood exactly how the technique works. But I know that it does, and for now, that's enough.

I'm not sure if the regular practice of meditation will happen, and I'm certain that the elation and initial euphoria will die down eventually, but for now - this is the most peaceful I have felt in a long, LONG time. I never dreamed I would find that in Igatpuri.

My suggestion - everyone give it one shot, if it's not for you, so be it. But it just might be the best thing you every did for ten days of your life.

Peace and Quiet

2008-12-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

In this time of noise and constant news, terror and instablity - I am going to a Vipassana Centre for a ten day course.

I cannot talk or communicate with anyone else in any way - I'm really looking forward to it. No intoxicants, segregation of the sexes - the whole nine yards. Should be interesting to say the least...

So see you in 10 days!

Our friend Gerry

2008-12-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

Gerry is going to write in our blog. He had difficulty finding our blog. We hope to hear from Gerry sooon.

Tragedy in Bombay

2008-11-26T23:32:00.000-08:00

This is horrifying news. I hope all of you in Bombay are okay along with your families and friends and people you know.
I am watching the news on CNN here in America.

On Crying

2008-11-19T23:34:00.000-08:00

I think we must cry when it's time to do so. Why hold back the tears when freedom has been gained?

Freedom Gained

2008-11-19T23:25:00.000-08:00

PV has gained her freedom, so I write this with much joy from the west coast of America. Here, too, arriving in a new America, with the victory of the first African American for President, history has been made, freedom gained.
It would be nice if PV could post a few new pics for us.

Freedom

2008-11-08T02:27:00.000-08:00

The urge to cry comes up all the time.

I burst into tears about two minutes after I found out I had cancer.

And I burst into tears again, after find out that at long, long last - and five PET Scans later - I am finally cancer free!

In celebration, there is now a bottle of wine that is fairly empty!

Thank you to everyone who has called, written, messaged and prayed. It worked!

From Florida with Love

2008-11-06T04:05:00.000-08:00

This is Anjali with the lovely Aanya, no not with Sasha or Malia Obama! She says she thought of her mom when she saw my photograph next to the sports car.
Anjali sends her prayers and much love and hugs for PV.
Anjali knows what it's like to have friends when going through cancer like her mom did.
Meanwhile, please welcome to our blog and do share our blog with others.

Girls will be Girls

2008-10-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

When I wanted to photograph these girls at the Hebridean Jewellery Shop because I liked the shop so much-they said what all girls say world wide: We'll stand behind the counter so we look slim! And then promptly went on to prettify themselves by patting things in place!
Some of the designs seemed quite Indian.The Celtic knot remains so impressive.
PVs Celtic tattoo is a must-she spent some time in Ireland working hard and getting to know, I do hope, Mr. Jameson.

Hoping for a Rainbow

2008-10-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

I took this photo from the car as it was too wet and windy to get out and shoot!
I hope Barack Obama becomes America's First African American President on 4 November.
I hope PVs medical check up around that time feels good.

A quiet landscape

2008-10-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

While this part of my visit was filled with clean air, clean water and clean silence, I get the feeling that PV maybe rocking away some where on her time out. I wish her a blast!
Take some wild pictures please for our blog!

Blogger Medal for harp

2008-10-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

While in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland, visiting my former boss, I wondered how the blog was doing. Coming home, I find Blogger harp has been so conscientious with her blogging. Thank you so much for your contribution.

Back home from vacation

2008-10-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,
Here I am in Cheshire, posing in the obligatory fashion, next to our young host's sports car. My friend, Caro,who went through chemotherapy, I remember had posed against her daughter's boss's Lamborghini in Muscat, I think. What is it with middle aged women and cars? While a student in America, my friend, drove me around in her BMW sports car at a time when students should look poor.Considering I paid nothing for the image make over, I hope you agree I managed a reasonable deal.
But before I close this post-I spent precious time with an 86 year old friend, an old Kenya hand, now in cancer remission. He and his wife intend coming to Bombay in September. No, I am not organizing a sports car for the airport pick up.

PVs tips to chemo takers and care givers

2008-10-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

SIDE EFFECTS

Possible Nausea

Nails will darken or become striated

Pain in joints, like knees. Putting ice on the joints gives some relief. If the pain goes to your feet – soak your feet in cold/iced water for a little while.

Hair fall – if your hair loss is severe do not try cutting it short. Instead shave it completely as the short hair falling into your food, on your bed, in your clothes etc is a bigger irritant and can get very messy.

Skin peeling off. If this happens, use a light scrubber like a loofah to scrub off the dead skin on a regular basis.

Discolouration of teeth. Avoid any major dental work while you are on chemo. But brush your teeth gently and floss regularly after meals to ensure that your teeth are not extensively damaged during the treatment.

Numbness in the tips of your fingers and toes.

Dryness in your mouth – suck on boiled sweets or lozenges

Pain in the hands if you are taking the chemo through the veins in your hands. You can apply a cream called ‘Thrombophob’ which will provide some relief. You can also apply ice wrapped in a cloth, on your hands.

You will probably experience constipation. Either ask your doctor to prescribe a laxative or alternatively you could start taking ‘Isabgol’ which is a natural laxative. (One spoon mixed in water every night or every morning).

Small red spots on your skin. These could be a sign your WBC counts are dropping.

For women, you might stop getting your period on time, or at all, for a few months.

You may feel tired more often and feel your energy levels dropping.

Rest as much as you need to and get plenty of sleep.

Check colour of nails and colour of lips. When these look “white” know that haemoglobin levels are dropping.

Procrastination Works!

2008-10-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

So while Asha is off on a long vacation, I have been granted one myself. I have no more medical stuff to do until the 4th of November, when I go back for a PET Scan. Which will determine if I need more radiation or not. Hopefully not.

Until, then, I'm doctor free! And I hope, cancer-free too!

The other side to me!

2008-10-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

Away from blog

2008-10-07T00:35:00.000-07:00

Fellow bloggers, I am going to London till the 25th of this month. I hope you guys will blog-just write in, say any thing you feel like, simply vent, or whatever. And as Larry King says, "Don't go away!"

Cambodian scarf

2008-10-07T00:33:00.000-07:00

This is a gift from mom to PV and for PV this is a much favored scarf.
Is there any one who does not derive comfort from procrastination! I love it as it holds the clock in a fixed position!

On a break

2008-10-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

I'm on a break from the doctors. Procrastinating has always been a particular talent of mine and I'm using it to the fullest right now!

I am supposed to go back to the oncologist and radiation therapist for another round of recommendations, tests and radiation - but I just dont' feel like it.

I am busy with work - and the stuff involved with quitting work, family and friends, not to mention all the master's admission work that I thought I was done with last year!

And the clincher is - my hair is coming back! All curly just like before- so the dream of chemo straightening out my hair has died a quick death. But still, I love it!

Sitting on a piano stool

2008-09-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

No, I don't play the piano but I do other things.

No blogging!

2008-09-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been away and PV has been busy in her own way so we couldn't blog. But Harp, Celine and others kept the blog going. Thank you so much. Do keep blogging. I just saw Mamma Mia which I loved as I am an Abba fan. It's a fun film. I recommend it strongly. It will make you smile.

2008-09-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Shoe fetish

2008-09-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

Feel like talking about shoes rather than doctors. Dear bloggers, please share your fetish.

Life is in the little things

2008-09-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

At times, the doctor's writing and his opinions are hard to fathom.

Scratch That...Rewrite

2008-09-18T09:13:00.001-07:00

As I found out today, I am now due for 3 more weeks of radiation in October.

Whoop-de-do

Done Done Done... I think.

2008-09-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

I am finished with radiation.

It came as a surprise really because I was scheduled to have 20 sessions and then on the day of the 15th, or I should say night because I was there past 9 p.m., I was told that I didn't need any more. In the clinical sense - I am cancer free!

I need to do a scan in another two months, but it will be good to get back to life where I am not as easily tired and don't have to watch what i'm eating so much...I can't wait!

PVs friends don't talk back!

2008-09-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

Art on the wall

2008-09-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

2008-09-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

The Brahmin with his pigtail has less hair than PV.This painting is in PV's sitting room.

My Sunday Visit

2008-09-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

Spent Saturday evening at PV's place. PV, incidentally, is a good hostess! She got the water for the tea going on the stove, chatted with us a bit, and then returned to her computer. Celine had a spread for tea: steamed corn, cheese on toast, cheese cake (courtesy Alka), cashew nuts and the all time Andhra favorite, the crispy murku. Celine added lemon grass to her tea and I loved her bone china tea cups. All warm and cosy.

PV's brother suddenly turned up from Bangalore but via Goa where he was managing an event.

We took the Port Trust road back home. It was crowded with trucks. But the other road would have been worse with all the festival traffic.

PV's hair is doing well. PV must wonder how come nobody talked about her hair earlier!

The truth about radiation

2008-09-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Here's what they don't tell you about radiation - it IS actually worse than chemo. Sure, you don't lose your hair and your veins don't hurt. But there is that constant underlying feeling of nausea, which apparently doesn't go away for a while.

Today my doctor came into the radiation room to check in on me and said, "So how are you feeling?", to which I replied, "Okay, but I still throw up inspite of the anti-nausea stuff you gave me." And then he says, "So why don't you take something stronger??".

Ok...lets go over who the person of authority is in this scenario. I'm going for the one with the medical degree. Was it my brilliant idea to prescribe the apparently less potent pills??? Certainly not! As far as I'm concerned - give me the best thing you've got!!!! I'm all for progress in the anti-nausea medication department!

From now on, i'm demanding to see everyone's medical degree and not take their proficiency at face value...

Post radiation

2008-09-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

Well, got this through the grape vine-after radiation which starts at 7:30 pm, PV went to the movies!

2008-08-27T03:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't yet checked in with PV how her radiation went. How she took it lying down. She did mention that there is quite a bit of preparation before the actual radiation. The latter is very quickly done. Nevertheless, it makes for a long day.

Today I watched a part of the Democratic Convention held in Denver.
I also thought of the American athlete with leukemia who competed in the Olympics, who won and now returns home to take his treatment.

Incidentally PV actually misses the fact that she no longer has to commute to South Bombay as her office has moved closer to her. She loves the Nariman Point area.
I am personally happy that there is less of commuting for PV only because I hate commuting in Bombay. It's messy and harrowing. But PV is a very seasoned commuter.

Lying down

2008-08-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

PV this a.m.

2008-08-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

Did get to Chembur to meet PV this morning. It was a wet day! I had a lovely cup of coffee that Celine prepared for me. It was lovely seeing PV after all her intensive chemo. I examined her head in some detail. She starts her radiation from August 25, five times a week, I think, and intends getting to the hospital straight after work. This is the true spirit of the work force in Mumbai today.

Celtic Knot

2008-08-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

What passes the time

2008-08-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

This is what I did during the months that I did not work...rediscovered past hobbies. With good results I think!

A promise

2008-08-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

Post radiation, I am going to invite PV for Irish coffee in Bombay.

Of Celtic Knots

2008-08-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

PVs celtic knot does have an authentic piece of history. The knot was carefully tattoed in Ireland, yes the real thing

Fry em all!

2008-08-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today marked the start of 'the radiation process'. I say this because they don't just start with the radiation immediately after chemo. There are SEVERAL steps involved, and when you don't live too close to the hospital, it seems like each step is multiplied into two!
There are meetings with the radiation therapist, there is mold to be made for your specific body type, then there is a CT Scan, and finally - they fry your insides!
Today was the mold day. And after waiting for five months for my next tattoo (I meant to get one in february), I finally got one! It's a tiny dot on my chest which helps the doctors to make sure that I am positioned correctly before they start the radiation. Not exactly the celtic knot I have on my back, but at least it's a start!
In anticipation...(of the CT scan anyway)

Dr V's Correct Version

2008-08-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Thank you Celine for filling in the correct information.
“Asha, I have attached the diet again. A bit of it, from lunch to green juice is missing in your diet on the blog; a) Cancer patients MUST contact Dr. Vijaya Venkat or her office: telephone 2436 1672/ 2432 0788; email: thacindia@yahoo.com. or contact THE HEALTH AWARENESS CENTRE, C/O STREEHITAVARDHINI, LOKMANYA NAGAR, K GADGIL MARG, MUMBAI 400025, before following this diet. PV did it after her chemo sessions. We are not sure if it is different when one is undergoing chemotherapy or radiation.”

DO’s

Deep Breathing. About 30 minutes throughout a day, especially on waking up and before meals. Breathe in and push your abdomen out and breathe out and push your abdomen in.
Have only POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
Watch 2 – 3 comedies a week.
Listen to Music and/ or DANCE!

DONT’s
No Refined, Processed foods
No wheat or wheat products
No milk and milk products
No sugar (only gur or honey)
No iodised salt (use black salt or sea salt or rock salt)
*NB: PV. is allowed l cup of coffee with a little sugar and a little milk.

Fruit – To be eaten on an empty stomach 20 minutes before a meal or 2 hours after a meal

On waking : Have a fruit – any fruit

20 Minutes later: Coffee

Till 12 Noon: Have 3 rounds of fruit

One round of sweet fruit – banana, chikoo, mango, papaya

One round of melons – musk melon, or watermelon

One round of citrus fruit – mosambi, orange, pomegranate, guava, kiwi

(Or juice one round of the fruits)

12: 30
One glass of RAW red juice with lemon

Put l small Carrot/ a small raw de-skinned Beetroot/ 1Tomato, with ginger, mint and coriander. Juice it, or if you do not have a juicer, blend it with a little water.
Squeeze one lemon into it – NO SALT

45 mins later: have lunch

Start with a raw salad ( with sesame seeds and nuts)

Then have rice or non-wheat roti with lots of vegetable (cooked with minimal oil) and curry.
End lunch with a lime shot – one part lemon with an equal quantity of water

2 hours after lunch: Have fruit or fruit juice or dry fruit

DRY FRUIT: Dates, Figs, Raisins, Apricots

Around 4 p.m. One hour later: have a handful of nuts – walnuts, almonds, pista, peanuts, cashew, black channa or Phool channa (the channa the guys sell along Bombay streets, with peanuts)

45 minutes before dinner: A glass of RAW green juice

Raw Spinach/ or Celery/ with a little Cucumber/ White Pumpkin/ Tomato, with ginger, lemon juice, mint and coriander. NO SALT.

DINNER – Start with raw salad with sprouts. Use lots of chutney/ coconut. If you are strictly following this diet, then you are allowed coconut and coconut juice in the curries. Bring on the Thai curries and the Goa/ Kerala Fish/ Prawn curries! 

Potatoes are excellent. You can add steamed corn as well.
Have soups (home made, not packet soups) , stir fried vegetables, or a Non-veg dish.
Have a roti made from moong dal, or besan. NO CEREAL AT NIGHT.

End your dinner with a lime shot. (Only PV does this).

ENERGY SHOT – Boil 2 cups of water with ¾ inch of grated ginger. Strain. Add 12 chopped dates (pulped) and the juice of 2 lemons when cool. Drink throughout the day.
(Only Priyanka does this bit. A good source of iron)
Celine adds,
“I have to check with the Centre about eating Dals – the plain and simple yellow dal, which I love, and which I have, but Priyanka does not include in her meals. I might also add that Priyanka is on HOLIDAY – for the first few days we were going crazy with all this eating and drinking, and falling way behind the schedule. If, you feel FULL at the end of the day – reduce quantities the next day. But believe me, it is GOOD!”

.

Dr Venky's food...

2008-08-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

Celine has written in to say that I need to add some important details to Dr Venky's diet-so wait for me to post the rest. I have to rush out but will get back to you.

Dr. Venky's Menu

2008-08-09T02:26:00.000-07:00

To add to Asha's post...this diet is hell to follow. And if it weren't for Connie the Cook (her name is just connie...but it's more fun to tag her profession along with it), we wouldn't be following it at all! She does all the chopping, mixing and other such. But I have to admit it worked like a charm, and in record time to bring my blood counts back to normal. After trying several VERY expensive medicines, injections etc, the diet was the cheapest, and yet most effective alternative.

That being said, I have fallen off the wagon several times and indulged in sugar-foods, the occasional slice of bread, and true heaven - some cheese!

Here is the Food Plan that Celine got from the best person in town: I hope Celine will tell us how she put it in place, and PV will tell us what she thinks of the ritual of food these days.

DO’s
Deep Breathing. About 30 minutes in the day, especially on waking up and before meals. Breathe in and push your abdomen out. Breathe out and push your abdomen in.
Have only POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Watch 2 – 3 comedies a week. Listen to Music and/ or DANCE!

DONT’s
No Refined, Processed foods, No wheat or wheat products, No milk and milk products
No sugar (only gur or honey), No iodised salt (use black salt or sea salt or rock salt)
*NB: PV is allowed l cup of coffee with a little sugar and a little milk.

Fruit – To be eaten on an empty stomach 20 minutes before a meal or 2 hours after a meal. On waking: Have a fruit – any fruit
20 Minutes later: Coffee

Till 12 Noon: Have 3 rounds of fruit
1) Sweet fruit – banana, chikoo, mango, papaya
2) Melons – musk melon, or watermelon
3) Citrus fruit – mosambi, orange, pomegranate, guava, kiwi
(or juice one round of the fruits)

12: 30: One glass of RAW red juice with lemon
Put l small Carrot/ a small raw de-skinned Beetroot/ 1Tomato, with ginger, mint and coriander. Juice it, or if you do not have a juicer, blend it with a little water.
Squeeze one lemon into it – NO SALT
45 mins. later: have lunch

Raw Spinach/ or Celery/ with a little Cucumber/ White Pumpkin/ Tomato, with ginger, lemon juice, mint and coriander. NO SALT.

DINNER – Start with raw salad with sprouts. Use lots of chutney/ coconut. If you are strictly following this diet, then you are allowed coconut and coconut juice in the curries. Bring on the Thai curries and the Goa/ Kerala Fish/ Prawn curries! 

Potatoes are excellent. You can add steamed corn as well.
Have soups (home made only), stir fried vegetables, or a non-vegetarian dish.
Have a roti made from moong dal, or besan. NO CEREAL AT NIGHT.

End your dinner with a lime shot. (Only PV does this)

ENERGY SHOT – Boil 2 cups of water with ¾ inch of grated ginger. Strain. Add 12 chopped dates (pulped) and the juice of 2 lemons when cool. Drink throughout the day.
(Only PV does this bit. A good source of iron)

Onwards

2008-08-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

On the medical front, I found out I need a minimum of three weeks of radiation. Both my oncologist and radiation therapist were thrilled with my latest scan and think that it shows excellent progress. While this is good news, and I was pleased on some level - a big part of me just wants this all to be over, and not have my life dictated by medical appointments. My next one is on monday...

On returning home, I saw an email in my inbox from a college I was keen on attending this year in the UK saying that as a part of their policy, they cannot allow me to defer my place in the programme into which I had been accepted and that if I were unable to attend, I would just have to re-apply next year.

When you've had your life mapped out for the next two years in your head - it is really hard to imagine what to do with yourself for the next ONE YEAR... Even more, it is hard to accept that your plan just isn't working out like you were certain it would.

Citizens for peace

2008-08-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Attended this meeting today-Javed Akhtar, Shabana, Nandita,and other wonderful people read their poetry and shared their narrative. It was a very moving event without any speeches. The blind children's singing from Abide with me to current songs we hold dear was special. I met Devika Bhojwani and asked her to share in our blog. I'd like her to share it with different kinds of people.

Just waiting

2008-08-05T09:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight we will have some news of what PVs doctor has to say about how she is doing. We are happy that most of PVs medical consultations are in her neighborhood. Though she has had her fair share of doing the rounds of different hospitals. She found one hospital terribly clinical. Could we please have more humane hospital design? It's been raining and raining. So I followed PVs prescription of beating the blues by eating ice cream, not yet the chocolate.

PVs Mom

2008-08-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

"After this, I think I'll go for the ice cream and chocolate...Dr Venky's Nutritional Plan for our daughter will be posted soon. I follow it too."

PVs Dad

2008-08-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

"My daughter has more to say to my friends than me...anyway, please read my books more than my lips."

Celebrating the 37th

2008-08-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

Spoke to PVs parents who sounded still very much in love after 37 years of married life. There was laughter in the background as they were wending their way to Bandra. My husband and I tried wishing them through all this. PVs parents are very old and dear friends with whom I have giggled endlessly on occasions!

PVs mom informed me that the PET scan results will be out tomorrow afternoon. I will check in with her and inform all of you.

It's the togetherness of 37 years that helps PVs parents take in all that life brings their way with grace.

In response to PVs mom's text message to me a little while ago, I'd like to thank her, too, for the precious friendship.

Dear Anonymous

2008-08-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

To whoever left the comments about getting through the shit days,
Ice cream and chocolate help more than we give them credit for! On other days, I had a good solid cry by myself and completely indulged in self-pity - but within a time frame.
More often than not, I just got as many hugs as I could - given that I was advised not to get too close to too many people otherwise I might catch an unnecessary infection.
I know that doesn't help much, and sometimes time just seems to stretch on and on and on...but this is the greatest lesson in patience you will ever have. And hopefully, the last!

Comments coming in

2008-08-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

First of all, I am no longer paranoid about Comments not registering on our blog. Magically the technical issue has resolved itself. I appreciate each of your comments. They add to our perspective. Thanks a lot. Do keep writing in.

PV I guess has been rained in some times, snowed under with her work load and has been sending e-mail to me. So she has not fallen off the map! I have not set eyes on her since her Dubai visit. We were hoping to meet for a photo shoot but the monsoon has been a real spoil sport.

The top of PVs head looks like it's been manured and is sprouting hair. Fuzzy and cute.

On August 4 she goes in for her next PET scan. Our thoughts and good wishes will be with her and her family. I will keep you posted.

Cancer No No's

2008-07-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

Things people should never say to someone undergoing treatment for cancer:
- Don't worry, it will all be over soon
- Did you suffer a lot? (Someone actually asked me this... )
-Be strong
- Be positive
- Don't cry

Brooding

2008-07-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

When we were discussing the setting up of this blog, Asha had commented on how amazed she was at the way I was handling everything after my diagnosis. And I told her that as much as I had managed to be grateful that things weren't as bad as they could have been, there were still some truly SHIT days. And what got me through them was the assumption that once everything was over (or at least the worst of it), my life would go back to normal and I would be as happy as I was before.
It is a startling revelation to know that no matter when I finish with all my medical chores, or how 'normal' I feel now, things will never be exactly as they were before.

Enery Saving Cutie for Sheiks

2008-07-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

Nice girls in Mumbai

2008-07-21T23:47:00.000-07:00

Lipstick information

2008-07-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

Something to consider next time you go shopping for lipstick ...Recently a lipstick brand called 'Red Earth' decreased their prices from$67 to $9.90. It contained lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer. The lipstick brands that contain lead are: CHRISTIAN DIOR, LANCÔME, CLINIQUE, Y.S.L, ESTEE LAUDER, SHISEIDO, RED EARTH (Lip Gloss), CHANEL (Lip Conditioner), MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK. The higher the lead content, the greater the chance of causing cancer. After doing a test on lipsticks, it was found that the Y.S.L. lipstick contained the most amount of lead. Watch out for those lipsticks which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is because of the higher content of lead. Here is the test you can do yourself: 1. Put some lipstick on your hand. 2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick. If the lipstick color changes to black, then you know the lipstick contains lead. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Centre (website accessible)

Waiting...

2008-07-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

I am filling in the blog, waiting for PV to return to Bombay. I am looking forward to hearing some of the Dubai happenings. It will be fun taking the next set of photos. I goofed again! "My Work" photos were meant for my personal blog! Computer illiteracy is bad for your health. But it is helping me deal with some of my embarrassing moments! I make mistakes, feel bad, get over them, and hopefully learn from them!

My work

2008-07-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

The community my associate and I worked with show the certificate of acknowledgment I received from my University of Oregon.

Going back and forth with a camera was an experience because many people like to get into the frame!
It has its nuisance value, but it is also an exciting part of such work.

We did brief group and individual therapy in this setting.
The conversations were enriching and slum dwellers, in Mumbai, in partiuclar, have great poise and confidence. Some of them, I feel, are Method Actors!

Next location?

2008-07-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

I wonder where PV would like us to take the next set of photographs. The last shoot was in a real crowded spot, next to the train station. I must say, people didn't bother us. Usually they like to be photographed even if they never get to see their mug shots!

Oops! All mixed up!

2008-07-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

The next entry was meant for my other blog! I am practising blogging right, left and centre, as I am to start my third blog with my professional associate, a psychologist who works in the Washington DC area.

Salvador Dali is pleasantly surprised! I was lucky to have seen some of his sculpture in a gallery last year.

Oops! All mixed up!

2008-07-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

Feeling bad

2008-07-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

I feel sad and bad when technology fails! My other blog, http://lifeisinthelittlethings.blogspot.com doesn't register your comments! Some thing has gone awry. I have a bit of waiting before it gets sorted.

To cheer me up I am posting a picture of little Aanya, me friend's daughter, who is rocking beteen gorillas! Rock away dear Aanya! Aanya's grandmother and I shared a friendship from school days.

Dear Commentators

2008-07-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

When PV returns to Bombay, we will see what has gone wrong with our ability to enable the Comments in our blog. I am disappointed that we can't read your comments! A friend from Italy has written in, two from Bombay, one from Bangalore...thank you for waiting. I appreciate the intent.

Defiant cell users

2008-07-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

I guess we have all had trouble with cell users in a movie hall where the former drown the real dialogue in the film. A parallel dialogue then ensues between the irritated movie watcher and the defiant cell user. Each shouts down the other, but nothing works. In fact, the cell user usually carried on with his dialogue as if nothing has happened.Meanwhile, the film plays on...

More trouble!

2008-07-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

My friend, Harpreet, who looks like a student but is a lecturer in Delhi, wrote in to say:
"Hey di (short for Didi!), cant open that url 'lifeisinthelittlethings." Else how is life?
Is any one else having trouble getting into our blog, I wonder.

Help! Can't see your comments!

2008-07-18T02:33:00.000-07:00

Some people have written in to our blog, but I am struggling to set this right. PV, can your friend click the right button for us, please! I have a friend who wants to write in to our blog after she finishes her health tratment in Kerala and returns to Cambodia. Right now we can't see any comments. The "O COMMENT" does look sad to me. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down!

Energy saving cutie

2008-07-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

I'd like more and more oil rich sheiks to ride this dinky car. They will look awesome getting in, getting out and just driving this little thing in ritzy glitzy Dubai. This way their oil revenues will get bigger and bigger.
I photographed this off Bond Street in London last year.

2008-07-18T01:19:00.000-07:00

Shopping list for PV

2008-07-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Style in Dubai

2008-07-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

A Pritzker prize winning architect, Zaha Hadid is higly successful internationally. In Dubai, her Signature Towers and opera houses are important commissions.

Also headed for Dubai

2008-07-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

Fly Buy Dubai

2008-07-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

PV is off on a holiday to Dubai. She might end up spending quality time with friends who work there. I think she will have a blast. So enjoy...

2008-07-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

There are about 250 million cell users in India. About 8 million users are added every month. The Telecom Regulatory Authority of India predicts that before the end of the year we will have more cell users than America. China, of course, has twice as many cell users as India. Indians are so talkative - the decibel count has certainly increased with too much talk time available on cells.

PV takes a literary stand

2008-07-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

We took this photograph in an arcade in the historic precinct, Dadabhai Naoroji Road, South Bombay.

2008-07-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I received a phone call and heard just sobs. It was my one of my daughter's godmothers who had lung cancer. Midst sobs, she shared with me that she could not bare to see the clumps of hair that had fallen on the pillow. I rushed over to her place and spent some time with her. This friend had a wig from Australia, many chiffon scarves. She wore a wig once and we all got scared and ended up laughing as it was so not like her! Then she did scarves very briefly. Finally she felt easy with just her bald head. We all agreed she looked like a "boy monk".

Before chemotherapy, an artist with very long hair, went across to the Oberoi Salon and had her head shaved. I am not sure if the Salon charged her for a full hair cut. It's a question I'd like to ask the Salon. If I were the Manager, I would have offered the haircut gratis.

The hair loss brings home the reality of cancer. You look different. When the eyebrows vanish, you look more different. How we all embrace this difference, I suppose, changes our outlook on life.

2008-07-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

A friend has just sent in this verse by Rumi. It comes from his Pakistani friend who has been dealing with recurring cancer. Rumi is not as mean spirited as I am. Incidentally I am not biting my nails.
"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your house empty Of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond."

2008-07-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

I love this picture! It corresponds quite a bit to this time period in my life - There's a LOT of work in progress. I'm waiting for my hair to grow back, for my skin to stop doing weird things, and hopefully for my jaw-line to make a re-appearance from under my newly chubby cheeks!

Our blog is in progress, it's Day One, I have over written, Inconvenience Caused Is Regretted.

2008-07-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

It's been a few hours since our blog was posted and I haven't yet heard from PV whether she is happy or seriously unhappy with my postings! I sent her 2 text messages at work. Here is what she says: Sorry having a busy day. Will check as soon as I can.
So it's best I stop biting my nails and chill. I am now off to my Vedanta class.

2008-07-14T05:05:00.000-07:00

This year I photographed the Sisters from the Missionaries of Charity
at the Pune Railway Station. They cover their heads, unlike PV who chose to bare her head. Wearing wigs, scarves is a personal choice. When my husband and I went to visit with the family, we sat in their pretty garden. It was a practical solution for keeping germs at bay. PV's immune system was vulnerable and needed all the protection. PV came out to meet us in the garden. This was the first time we saw her new face. Chemotherapy had taken the hair away but not PV's spirit showcased in her black mini and a glint in the eye, accepting all that was around her. I think it takes courage to show yourself just as you are to the public at large. People are cruel here some times. They giggle, twitter, pass remarks and fail to see that they are making fun of a person with cancer whose healthy cells have been destroyed by chemotherapy. How can such people be educated about cancer? Some times, I think they are nervous and don't know what to do or say to a woman who does not have hair like them. PV's brother and another male friend shaved their heads to keep PV company. I think women would find this difficult to do-so I fail to understand why they are the ones who giggle the most at the sight of a bald woman.

A few months before I was diagnosed, I was going to get a haircut and was joking around about getting my head shaved completely. I remember one person in particular being absolutely aghast at the idea of me voluntarily cutting off my long hair. When I knew I might lose my hair after the first round of chemo, I didn't think it would bother me that much. But when the first clumps of hair started to come off in my hands, I curled up in bed and had a good long cry.
After that, it was so much easier to look at the positives. For instance - I had a really nice round head. No ugly bumps, no weird ridges and no unsightly birthmarks that were earlier hidden. Even strangers have commented on what a perfectly round head I have!!

As much as it hurt to lose my hair, it never occured to me to wear a scarf or a wig (except once as a joke to scare the nurses in the hospital - and it worked like a charm!!!). I think the starkness of it bothered other people more than it ever bothered me. One neighbour even demanded of my mother as to why I wasn't wearing 'at least a scarf to cover myself'. And the simple answer is - because I don't want to. And besides, if I did, I would be depriving myself of all those compliments about my perfect scalp!

2008-07-14T04:01:00.000-07:00

Here is PV at the railway station . I was hoping to take some photos of her in the thick of the crowd-but things didn't go well for me. First, I was told photography is prohibited at this heritage site, second, there were too many cops around to catch me. I thought of the intrepid war correspondents ready to die . So I went ahead with my little Canon digital. PV is trying to call me, I am trying to take the photo and keeping an eye on the women cops . Result: a blur. I forgot to turn on the flash! "You looked part of the crowd," I said, for PV's head suddenly failed to stand out. "That's not such a good thing, is it?" replied PV. A PV head and fashionable gear is a rare find on a railway platform. Monks, pilgrims and widows don't look like PV and cohort. The model in this photo shoot was cooperative, the photographer callow. The best photo of this station was taken by the great Brazilian, Sebastiao Salgado. Do check him out.

2008-07-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

While PV's last PET scan showed many cancer cells had faded away, there were those in the humerus behaving like "The Man Who Came to Dinner". The over staying types who think they own the place. Right now their dream menu of pork vindaloo, yummy pork chops, all the sea food that a Goan family serves with unrestrained delight has been forbidden. PV's mother, Celine, consulted the renowned nutritionist, Dr.Venky, and an extraordinary health menu is in place in this household . We will ask Celine to post this.

If the cancer cells sulk over Dr. Venky's offerings, too bad. I won't feel sorry for them if they starve to death. They are not in the Darfur famine victim category. I am glad Marie Antoinette is dead and gone or else she would have announced her "Let them eat cake" nuisance valu main course for the residual cancer cells.

PV is not only listening to her mother this time but also taking action by eating Dr. Venky's food.

Her next PET scan is in August-not far away.

2008-07-14T00:55:00.000-07:00

PV took the local train, a gymnastic feat, to get to my place. About 2 million people alight at this railway station, the historic Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus. PV told me she found the leaves over her head irritating.

2008-07-14T00:46:00.000-07:00

Looking back, PV and I met on Saturday and finalised our decision to go on line with this blog within two days. Today, July 14, 2008 marks the official opening of our blog, life is in the little things.

PV's blood cancer was diagnosed in February this year, I think. It had spread 70%. The next few months were dedicated to intensive chemotherapy. This was a time of hopelessness and hope.

This blog is for PV, her cancer mates-the little boy Hariharan and Karishma who sat for her Board Exam and all those who have been touched by the consequences of cancer in one way or another.

PV and I welcome you warmly to our public space and request you to share your ideas in a way you may not have considered perhaps. PV will come and go as she pleases. On one day she may write, on another day she could have a writer's cramp. She will correct me if I say things badly or get my facts mixed up.
So, welcome...