Things people should never say to someone undergoing treatment for cancer: - Don't worry, it will all be over soon - Did you suffer a lot? (Someone actually asked me this... ) -Be strong - Be positive - Don't cry
9 comments:
Anonymous
said...
PV, I like your sharing this as we go around with the best of intentions trying to be really nice. Looks like we botch things up by not really understanding what is going on with the person with cancer.
Thanks for the not to say; it would also be helpful for comments on whatis acceptable' Any advice on how to navigate SHIT days may ease the anguish of other sufferers.
I think most visitors say the "wrong things" to the cancer patient. I think the cancer patient has to suffer these comments till he can see goodness in them. It sure is extra pain. Those who negotiate this pain, and most do, come out of it stronger than ever before.
The Shit Days matter the most as they are the most difficult. We've got some SHIT, REAL SHIT days going right now. I sure feel helpless. But I know gotta live. How do u get thru them?
I think it's not easy to cope with disease in general. For having to live with a problem of regulation of emotions, which may be hard sometimes, and for knowing other people's comments, I think people try to confort themselves first...
People are often a bit clumsy, they have to learn, simply...
I dont personally think people are clumsy or that they botch things up by not really understanding what is going on with the person with cancer. The point is, and this is the most difficult part, to see the person making the comment as having the best of intentions. No need to take the words literally. Of course this is so hard when you have the pain, anguish and uncertainty of an illness; to be then expected to do even more by expunging your real feelings as the sarcastic comments come in and to see them as darting angels demands a trasnformation of oneself!But isn't that the transforming power of an illness? I know you can say this to the saints and not to a normal human being. But illness does make sanints out of normal human beings. It also transforms the near and dear ones. It touches in an amazing way. Amazing grace, perhaps...
I too do agree that most people truly mean well, but may express their loving concern in the wrong way. Learning to see this is perhaps part of the healing process.....?
I too do agree that most people truly mean well, but may express their loving concern in the wrong way. Learning to see this is perhaps part of the healing process.....?
9 comments:
PV, I like your sharing this as we go around with the best of intentions trying to be really nice. Looks like we botch things up by not really understanding what is going on with the person with cancer.
Thanks for the not to say; it would also be helpful for comments on whatis acceptable'
Any advice on how to navigate SHIT days may ease the anguish of other sufferers.
I think most visitors say the "wrong things" to the cancer patient. I think the cancer patient has to suffer these comments till he can see goodness in them. It sure is extra pain. Those who negotiate this pain, and most do, come out of it stronger than ever before.
The Shit Days matter the most as they are the most difficult. We've got some SHIT, REAL SHIT days going right now. I sure feel helpless. But I know gotta live. How do u get thru them?
I think it's not easy to cope with disease in general. For having to live with a problem of regulation of emotions, which may be hard sometimes, and for knowing other people's comments, I think people try to confort themselves first...
People are often a bit clumsy, they have to learn, simply...
I dont personally think people are clumsy or that they botch things up by not really understanding what is going on with the person with cancer. The point is, and this is the most difficult part, to see the person making the comment as having the best of intentions. No need to take the words literally. Of course this is so hard when you have the pain, anguish and uncertainty of an illness; to be then expected to do even more by expunging your real feelings as the sarcastic comments come in and to see them as darting angels demands a trasnformation of oneself!But isn't that the transforming power of an illness? I know you can say this to the saints and not to a normal human being. But illness does make sanints out of normal human beings. It also transforms the near and dear ones. It touches in an amazing way. Amazing grace, perhaps...
Hey guys, what about some help on the SHIT DAYS? What can I do to get by? Saying CRAP to SHIT does not help. I need to go from one moment to the next.
I too do agree that most people truly mean well, but may express their loving concern in the wrong way. Learning to see this is perhaps part of the healing process.....?
I too do agree that most people truly mean well, but may express their loving concern in the wrong way. Learning to see this is perhaps part of the healing process.....?
Post a Comment