Happy New Year

A very happy 2009 to each of you. It has been a year of so many ups and downs. The human spirit seems to triumph somehow. So I wish you the very best of your spirit but make sure you have a designated driver to take you home safely as you party. I write from America and send all my love.I am going to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" in a little while. And then I shall keep warm at home and bring in the New Year assisted by television!

Nirvana-just may be!

So here I am in the North West of America, far away from any Nirvana, as people shop for Christmas presents-in the final journey, the presents mostly end up in the junk yard. No Nirvana out here.

I am breaking away from all routine to write in. I have attended the Vippasana twice-the third one in Cutch was cut short as my friend's husband had a stroke in Austria. I felt more ready for my 3rd Vippasana and intend returning to it.

That PV chose to go into a 10 day long self relflecting mode in a very puritanical setting moved me into reappearing on the blog.

Some how in our race against time, we seem to have forgotten that a whole universe exists within us.

A merry Christmas to all of you. May I assume that post Vippasana PV will be partying ?

I end with every good wish and cheer.

Nirvana...not.

Every single one of the 250 women attending the Vipassana course along with me had a variety different reasons for being there. Some were repeating the experience for the 13th time, some for the 2nd or 3rd, and these were the women that had obviously benefited from it in the past . Or just suckers for punishment.
But a lot of the women were newbies like me. They were looking for 'the ultimate truth', healing of past hurt and misery, grieving a loss or just looking for some good old peace and quiet.

I am still not entirely sure why I went. But whatever I went looking for - I did not find it. Except for the peace and quiet of course, which I enjoyed immensely! In fact, I think more people should take to shutting up for long periods of time. The world would be a far happier place.
Instead, what I felt was like a ton of weight was lifted off me (in actuality, I only lost a few pounds). I was grinning and happy for no apparent reason. And truth be told, I have still not understood exactly how the technique works. But I know that it does, and for now, that's enough.

I'm not sure if the regular practice of meditation will happen, and I'm certain that the elation and initial euphoria will die down eventually, but for now - this is the most peaceful I have felt in a long, LONG time. I never dreamed I would find that in Igatpuri.

My suggestion - everyone give it one shot, if it's not for you, so be it. But it just might be the best thing you every did for ten days of your life.

Peace and Quiet

In this time of noise and constant news, terror and instablity - I am going to a Vipassana Centre for a ten day course.

I cannot talk or communicate with anyone else in any way - I'm really looking forward to it. No intoxicants, segregation of the sexes - the whole nine yards. Should be interesting to say the least...

So see you in 10 days!

Our friend Gerry

Gerry is going to write in our blog. He had difficulty finding our blog. We hope to hear from Gerry sooon.

Tragedy in Bombay

This is horrifying news. I hope all of you in Bombay are okay along with your families and friends and people you know.
I am watching the news on CNN here in America.

On Crying

I think we must cry when it's time to do so. Why hold back the tears when freedom has been gained?

Freedom Gained

PV has gained her freedom, so I write this with much joy from the west coast of America. Here, too, arriving in a new America, with the victory of the first African American for President, history has been made, freedom gained.
It would be nice if PV could post a few new pics for us.

Freedom

The urge to cry comes up all the time.

I burst into tears about two minutes after I found out I had cancer.

And I burst into tears again, after find out that at long, long last - and five PET Scans later - I am finally cancer free!

In celebration, there is now a bottle of wine that is fairly empty!

Thank you to everyone who has called, written, messaged and prayed. It worked!

From Florida with Love

 

This is Anjali with the lovely Aanya, no not with Sasha or Malia Obama! She says she thought of her mom when she saw my photograph next to the sports car.
Anjali sends her prayers and much love and hugs for PV.
Anjali knows what it's like to have friends when going through cancer like her mom did.
Meanwhile, please welcome to our blog and do share our blog with others.

Girls will be Girls

 

When I wanted to photograph these girls at the Hebridean Jewellery Shop because I liked the shop so much-they said what all girls say world wide: We'll stand behind the counter so we look slim! And then promptly went on to prettify themselves by patting things in place!
Some of the designs seemed quite Indian.The Celtic knot remains so impressive.
PVs Celtic tattoo is a must-she spent some time in Ireland working hard and getting to know, I do hope, Mr. Jameson.

Hoping for a Rainbow

 

I took this photo from the car as it was too wet and windy to get out and shoot!
I hope Barack Obama becomes America's First African American President on 4 November.
I hope PVs medical check up around that time feels good.

A quiet landscape

 

While this part of my visit was filled with clean air, clean water and clean silence, I get the feeling that PV maybe rocking away some where on her time out. I wish her a blast!
Take some wild pictures please for our blog!

Blogger Medal for harp

 

While in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland, visiting my former boss, I wondered how the blog was doing. Coming home, I find Blogger harp has been so conscientious with her blogging. Thank you so much for your contribution.

Back home from vacation

 

Dear friends,
Here I am in Cheshire, posing in the obligatory fashion, next to our young host's sports car. My friend, Caro,who went through chemotherapy, I remember had posed against her daughter's boss's Lamborghini in Muscat, I think. What is it with middle aged women and cars? While a student in America, my friend, drove me around in her BMW sports car at a time when students should look poor.Considering I paid nothing for the image make over, I hope you agree I managed a reasonable deal.
But before I close this post-I spent precious time with an 86 year old friend, an old Kenya hand, now in cancer remission. He and his wife intend coming to Bombay in September. No, I am not organizing a sports car for the airport pick up.

PVs tips to chemo takers and care givers

SIDE EFFECTS

Possible Nausea

Nails will darken or become striated

Pain in joints, like knees. Putting ice on the joints gives some relief. If the pain goes to your feet – soak your feet in cold/iced water for a little while.

Hair fall – if your hair loss is severe do not try cutting it short. Instead shave it completely as the short hair falling into your food, on your bed, in your clothes etc is a bigger irritant and can get very messy.

Skin peeling off. If this happens, use a light scrubber like a loofah to scrub off the dead skin on a regular basis.

Discolouration of teeth. Avoid any major dental work while you are on chemo. But brush your teeth gently and floss regularly after meals to ensure that your teeth are not extensively damaged during the treatment.

Numbness in the tips of your fingers and toes.

Dryness in your mouth – suck on boiled sweets or lozenges

Pain in the hands if you are taking the chemo through the veins in your hands. You can apply a cream called ‘Thrombophob’ which will provide some relief. You can also apply ice wrapped in a cloth, on your hands.

You will probably experience constipation. Either ask your doctor to prescribe a laxative or alternatively you could start taking ‘Isabgol’ which is a natural laxative. (One spoon mixed in water every night or every morning).

Small red spots on your skin. These could be a sign your WBC counts are dropping.

For women, you might stop getting your period on time, or at all, for a few months.

You may feel tired more often and feel your energy levels dropping.

Rest as much as you need to and get plenty of sleep.

Check colour of nails and colour of lips. When these look “white” know that haemoglobin levels are dropping.

Procrastination Works!

So while Asha is off on a long vacation, I have been granted one myself. I have no more medical stuff to do until the 4th of November, when I go back for a PET Scan. Which will determine if I need more radiation or not. Hopefully not.

Until, then, I'm doctor free! And I hope, cancer-free too!

The other side to me!

 

Away from blog

Fellow bloggers, I am going to London till the 25th of this month. I hope you guys will blog-just write in, say any thing you feel like, simply vent, or whatever. And as Larry King says, "Don't go away!"

Cambodian scarf

 

This is a gift from mom to PV and for PV this is a much favored scarf.
Is there any one who does not derive comfort from procrastination! I love it as it holds the clock in a fixed position!

On a break

I'm on a break from the doctors. Procrastinating has always been a particular talent of mine and I'm using it to the fullest right now!

I am supposed to go back to the oncologist and radiation therapist for another round of recommendations, tests and radiation - but I just dont' feel like it.

I am busy with work - and the stuff involved with quitting work, family and friends, not to mention all the master's admission work that I thought I was done with last year!

And the clincher is - my hair is coming back! All curly just like before- so the dream of chemo straightening out my hair has died a quick death. But still, I love it!

Sitting on a piano stool

 

No, I don't play the piano but I do other things.

No blogging!

Well, I have been away and PV has been busy in her own way so we couldn't blog. But Harp, Celine and others kept the blog going. Thank you so much. Do keep blogging. I just saw Mamma Mia which I loved as I am an Abba fan. It's a fun film. I recommend it strongly. It will make you smile.

 

Shoe fetish

 

Feel like talking about shoes rather than doctors. Dear bloggers, please share your fetish.

Life is in the little things

 

At times, the doctor's writing and his opinions are hard to fathom.

Scratch That...Rewrite

As I found out today, I am now due for 3 more weeks of radiation in October.

Whoop-de-do

Done Done Done... I think.

I am finished with radiation.

It came as a surprise really because I was scheduled to have 20 sessions and then on the day of the 15th, or I should say night because I was there past 9 p.m., I was told that I didn't need any more. In the clinical sense - I am cancer free!

I need to do a scan in another two months, but it will be good to get back to life where I am not as easily tired and don't have to watch what i'm eating so much...I can't wait!

PVs friends don't talk back!

 

 

Art on the wall

 

 





The Brahmin with his pigtail has less hair than PV.This painting is in PV's sitting room.

My Sunday Visit

 

Spent Saturday evening at PV's place. PV, incidentally, is a good hostess! She got the water for the tea going on the stove, chatted with us a bit, and then returned to her computer. Celine had a spread for tea: steamed corn, cheese on toast, cheese cake (courtesy Alka), cashew nuts and the all time Andhra favorite, the crispy murku. Celine added lemon grass to her tea and I loved her bone china tea cups. All warm and cosy.

PV's brother suddenly turned up from Bangalore but via Goa where he was managing an event.

We took the Port Trust road back home. It was crowded with trucks. But the other road would have been worse with all the festival traffic.

PV's hair is doing well. PV must wonder how come nobody talked about her hair earlier!

The truth about radiation

Here's what they don't tell you about radiation - it IS actually worse than chemo. Sure, you don't lose your hair and your veins don't hurt. But there is that constant underlying feeling of nausea, which apparently doesn't go away for a while.

Today my doctor came into the radiation room to check in on me and said, "So how are you feeling?", to which I replied, "Okay, but I still throw up inspite of the anti-nausea stuff you gave me." And then he says, "So why don't you take something stronger??".

Ok...lets go over who the person of authority is in this scenario. I'm going for the one with the medical degree. Was it my brilliant idea to prescribe the apparently less potent pills??? Certainly not! As far as I'm concerned - give me the best thing you've got!!!! I'm all for progress in the anti-nausea medication department!

From now on, i'm demanding to see everyone's medical degree and not take their proficiency at face value...

Post radiation

 

Well, got this through the grape vine-after radiation which starts at 7:30 pm, PV went to the movies!

I haven't yet checked in with PV how her radiation went. How she took it lying down. She did mention that there is quite a bit of preparation before the actual radiation. The latter is very quickly done. Nevertheless, it makes for a long day.

Today I watched a part of the Democratic Convention held in Denver.
I also thought of the American athlete with leukemia who competed in the Olympics, who won and now returns home to take his treatment.

Incidentally PV actually misses the fact that she no longer has to commute to South Bombay as her office has moved closer to her. She loves the Nariman Point area.
I am personally happy that there is less of commuting for PV only because I hate commuting in Bombay. It's messy and harrowing. But PV is a very seasoned commuter.

Lying down

 

PV this a.m.

 

Did get to Chembur to meet PV this morning. It was a wet day! I had a lovely cup of coffee that Celine prepared for me. It was lovely seeing PV after all her intensive chemo. I examined her head in some detail. She starts her radiation from August 25, five times a week, I think, and intends getting to the hospital straight after work. This is the true spirit of the work force in Mumbai today.

Celtic Knot

 

What passes the time

This is what I did during the months that I did not work...rediscovered past hobbies. With good results I think!

A promise

Post radiation, I am going to invite PV for Irish coffee in Bombay.

Of Celtic Knots

PVs celtic knot does have an authentic piece of history. The knot was carefully tattoed in Ireland, yes the real thing

Fry em all!

Today marked the start of 'the radiation process'. I say this because they don't just start with the radiation immediately after chemo. There are SEVERAL steps involved, and when you don't live too close to the hospital, it seems like each step is multiplied into two!
There are meetings with the radiation therapist, there is mold to be made for your specific body type, then there is a CT Scan, and finally - they fry your insides!
Today was the mold day. And after waiting for five months for my next tattoo (I meant to get one in february), I finally got one! It's a tiny dot on my chest which helps the doctors to make sure that I am positioned correctly before they start the radiation. Not exactly the celtic knot I have on my back, but at least it's a start!
In anticipation...(of the CT scan anyway)

Dr V's Correct Version

Thank you Celine for filling in the correct information.
“Asha, I have attached the diet again. A bit of it, from lunch to green juice is missing in your diet on the blog; a) Cancer patients MUST contact Dr. Vijaya Venkat or her office: telephone 2436 1672/ 2432 0788; email: thacindia@yahoo.com. or contact THE HEALTH AWARENESS CENTRE, C/O STREEHITAVARDHINI, LOKMANYA NAGAR, K GADGIL MARG, MUMBAI 400025, before following this diet. PV did it after her chemo sessions. We are not sure if it is different when one is undergoing chemotherapy or radiation.”

DO’s

Deep Breathing. About 30 minutes throughout a day, especially on waking up and before meals. Breathe in and push your abdomen out and breathe out and push your abdomen in.
Have only POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
Watch 2 – 3 comedies a week.
Listen to Music and/ or DANCE!

DONT’s
No Refined, Processed foods
No wheat or wheat products
No milk and milk products
No sugar (only gur or honey)
No iodised salt (use black salt or sea salt or rock salt)
*NB: PV. is allowed l cup of coffee with a little sugar and a little milk.

Fruit – To be eaten on an empty stomach 20 minutes before a meal or 2 hours after a meal

On waking : Have a fruit – any fruit

20 Minutes later: Coffee

Till 12 Noon: Have 3 rounds of fruit

One round of sweet fruit – banana, chikoo, mango, papaya

One round of melons – musk melon, or watermelon

One round of citrus fruit – mosambi, orange, pomegranate, guava, kiwi

(Or juice one round of the fruits)

12: 30
One glass of RAW red juice with lemon

Put l small Carrot/ a small raw de-skinned Beetroot/ 1Tomato, with ginger, mint and coriander. Juice it, or if you do not have a juicer, blend it with a little water.
Squeeze one lemon into it – NO SALT

45 mins later: have lunch

Start with a raw salad ( with sesame seeds and nuts)

Then have rice or non-wheat roti with lots of vegetable (cooked with minimal oil) and curry.
End lunch with a lime shot – one part lemon with an equal quantity of water

2 hours after lunch: Have fruit or fruit juice or dry fruit

DRY FRUIT: Dates, Figs, Raisins, Apricots

Around 4 p.m. One hour later: have a handful of nuts – walnuts, almonds, pista, peanuts, cashew, black channa or Phool channa (the channa the guys sell along Bombay streets, with peanuts)

45 minutes before dinner: A glass of RAW green juice

Raw Spinach/ or Celery/ with a little Cucumber/ White Pumpkin/ Tomato, with ginger, lemon juice, mint and coriander. NO SALT.

DINNER – Start with raw salad with sprouts. Use lots of chutney/ coconut. If you are strictly following this diet, then you are allowed coconut and coconut juice in the curries. Bring on the Thai curries and the Goa/ Kerala Fish/ Prawn curries! 

Potatoes are excellent. You can add steamed corn as well.
Have soups (home made, not packet soups) , stir fried vegetables, or a Non-veg dish.
Have a roti made from moong dal, or besan. NO CEREAL AT NIGHT.

End your dinner with a lime shot. (Only PV does this).

ENERGY SHOT – Boil 2 cups of water with ¾ inch of grated ginger. Strain. Add 12 chopped dates (pulped) and the juice of 2 lemons when cool. Drink throughout the day.
(Only Priyanka does this bit. A good source of iron)
Celine adds,
“I have to check with the Centre about eating Dals – the plain and simple yellow dal, which I love, and which I have, but Priyanka does not include in her meals. I might also add that Priyanka is on HOLIDAY – for the first few days we were going crazy with all this eating and drinking, and falling way behind the schedule. If, you feel FULL at the end of the day – reduce quantities the next day. But believe me, it is GOOD!”

.

Dr Venky's food...

Celine has written in to say that I need to add some important details to Dr Venky's diet-so wait for me to post the rest. I have to rush out but will get back to you.

Dr. Venky's Menu

To add to Asha's post...this diet is hell to follow. And if it weren't for Connie the Cook (her name is just connie...but it's more fun to tag her profession along with it), we wouldn't be following it at all! She does all the chopping, mixing and other such. But I have to admit it worked like a charm, and in record time to bring my blood counts back to normal. After trying several VERY expensive medicines, injections etc, the diet was the cheapest, and yet most effective alternative.

That being said, I have fallen off the wagon several times and indulged in sugar-foods, the occasional slice of bread, and true heaven - some cheese!


Here is the Food Plan that Celine got from the best person in town: I hope Celine will tell us how she put it in place, and PV will tell us what she thinks of the ritual of food these days.

DO’s
Deep Breathing. About 30 minutes in the day, especially on waking up and before meals. Breathe in and push your abdomen out. Breathe out and push your abdomen in.
Have only POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Watch 2 – 3 comedies a week. Listen to Music and/ or DANCE!

DONT’s
No Refined, Processed foods, No wheat or wheat products, No milk and milk products
No sugar (only gur or honey), No iodised salt (use black salt or sea salt or rock salt)
*NB: PV is allowed l cup of coffee with a little sugar and a little milk.

Fruit – To be eaten on an empty stomach 20 minutes before a meal or 2 hours after a meal. On waking: Have a fruit – any fruit
20 Minutes later: Coffee

Till 12 Noon: Have 3 rounds of fruit
1) Sweet fruit – banana, chikoo, mango, papaya
2) Melons – musk melon, or watermelon
3) Citrus fruit – mosambi, orange, pomegranate, guava, kiwi
(or juice one round of the fruits)

12: 30: One glass of RAW red juice with lemon
Put l small Carrot/ a small raw de-skinned Beetroot/ 1Tomato, with ginger, mint and coriander. Juice it, or if you do not have a juicer, blend it with a little water.
Squeeze one lemon into it – NO SALT
45 mins. later: have lunch

Raw Spinach/ or Celery/ with a little Cucumber/ White Pumpkin/ Tomato, with ginger, lemon juice, mint and coriander. NO SALT.

DINNER – Start with raw salad with sprouts. Use lots of chutney/ coconut. If you are strictly following this diet, then you are allowed coconut and coconut juice in the curries. Bring on the Thai curries and the Goa/ Kerala Fish/ Prawn curries! 

Potatoes are excellent. You can add steamed corn as well.
Have soups (home made only), stir fried vegetables, or a non-vegetarian dish.
Have a roti made from moong dal, or besan. NO CEREAL AT NIGHT.

End your dinner with a lime shot. (Only PV does this)

ENERGY SHOT – Boil 2 cups of water with ¾ inch of grated ginger. Strain. Add 12 chopped dates (pulped) and the juice of 2 lemons when cool. Drink throughout the day.
(Only PV does this bit. A good source of iron)

Onwards

On the medical front, I found out I need a minimum of three weeks of radiation. Both my oncologist and radiation therapist were thrilled with my latest scan and think that it shows excellent progress. While this is good news, and I was pleased on some level - a big part of me just wants this all to be over, and not have my life dictated by medical appointments. My next one is on monday...

On returning home, I saw an email in my inbox from a college I was keen on attending this year in the UK saying that as a part of their policy, they cannot allow me to defer my place in the programme into which I had been accepted and that if I were unable to attend, I would just have to re-apply next year.

When you've had your life mapped out for the next two years in your head - it is really hard to imagine what to do with yourself for the next ONE YEAR... Even more, it is hard to accept that your plan just isn't working out like you were certain it would.

Citizens for peace

Attended this meeting today-Javed Akhtar, Shabana, Nandita,and other wonderful people read their poetry and shared their narrative. It was a very moving event without any speeches. The blind children's singing from Abide with me to current songs we hold dear was special. I met Devika Bhojwani and asked her to share in our blog. I'd like her to share it with different kinds of people.

Just waiting

Tonight we will have some news of what PVs doctor has to say about how she is doing. We are happy that most of PVs medical consultations are in her neighborhood. Though she has had her fair share of doing the rounds of different hospitals. She found one hospital terribly clinical. Could we please have more humane hospital design? It's been raining and raining. So I followed PVs prescription of beating the blues by eating ice cream, not yet the chocolate.

PVs Mom

"After this, I think I'll go for the ice cream and chocolate...Dr Venky's Nutritional Plan for our daughter will be posted soon. I follow it too."

PVs Dad

"My daughter has more to say to my friends than me...anyway, please read my books more than my lips."

Celebrating the 37th

Spoke to PVs parents who sounded still very much in love after 37 years of married life. There was laughter in the background as they were wending their way to Bandra. My husband and I tried wishing them through all this. PVs parents are very old and dear friends with whom I have giggled endlessly on occasions!

PVs mom informed me that the PET scan results will be out tomorrow afternoon. I will check in with her and inform all of you.

It's the togetherness of 37 years that helps PVs parents take in all that life brings their way with grace.

In response to PVs mom's text message to me a little while ago, I'd like to thank her, too, for the precious friendship.

Dear Anonymous

To whoever left the comments about getting through the shit days,
Ice cream and chocolate help more than we give them credit for! On other days, I had a good solid cry by myself and completely indulged in self-pity - but within a time frame.
More often than not, I just got as many hugs as I could - given that I was advised not to get too close to too many people otherwise I might catch an unnecessary infection.
I know that doesn't help much, and sometimes time just seems to stretch on and on and on...but this is the greatest lesson in patience you will ever have. And hopefully, the last!

Comments coming in

First of all, I am no longer paranoid about Comments not registering on our blog. Magically the technical issue has resolved itself. I appreciate each of your comments. They add to our perspective. Thanks a lot. Do keep writing in.

PV I guess has been rained in some times, snowed under with her work load and has been sending e-mail to me. So she has not fallen off the map! I have not set eyes on her since her Dubai visit. We were hoping to meet for a photo shoot but the monsoon has been a real spoil sport.

The top of PVs head looks like it's been manured and is sprouting hair. Fuzzy and cute.

On August 4 she goes in for her next PET scan. Our thoughts and good wishes will be with her and her family. I will keep you posted.

Cancer No No's

Things people should never say to someone undergoing treatment for cancer:
- Don't worry, it will all be over soon
- Did you suffer a lot? (Someone actually asked me this... )
-Be strong
- Be positive
- Don't cry

Brooding

When we were discussing the setting up of this blog, Asha had commented on how amazed she was at the way I was handling everything after my diagnosis. And I told her that as much as I had managed to be grateful that things weren't as bad as they could have been, there were still some truly SHIT days. And what got me through them was the assumption that once everything was over (or at least the worst of it), my life would go back to normal and I would be as happy as I was before.
It is a startling revelation to know that no matter when I finish with all my medical chores, or how 'normal' I feel now, things will never be exactly as they were before.

Enery Saving Cutie for Sheiks